No worries
swanfaerie wrote:well i guess acknowledging i'm an addict is half the battle

It is, partly - i'm guessing you smoke 'pre-made' ones?
Like marlboro's or Lucky Strikes or something?
i had to stop buying them a couple of years back due to financial reasons
[and 400 smokes here will cost about the same as a limb]
and started rolling my own. Which is way more economical,
and a little more satisfying because it removes an element of convenience from the equation - i have to invest a little time just so i have something to smoke.
Of course, hand rolled tend to be lower in nicotine and tar, and don't have horrendous amounts of additives to make them burn steadily or anything [so it doesn't burn down if you have to leave it for a moment]
but comes in luscious flavours like Cherry & Vanilla.
Makes giving up that little bit trickier when they taste like manna from the heavens
i decided to keep them in my car so i can't just automatically reach for one and light up. i have to decide to go out into the cold to retrieve one.
now i must remember to not bring the whole pack in.
That's a good idea - anything that removes the 'immediate convenience'
is handy.
"Knew what cats know that makes them scream like babies in night.Looked at sky through smoke heavy with human fat and god was not there.The cold,suffocating dark goes on forever,and we are alone.Live our lives, lacking anything better to do.Devise reason later.Born from oblivion;bear children,hellbound as ourselves;go into oblivion.There is nothing else.Existence is random.Has no pattern save what we imagine after staring at it for too long.No meaning save what we choose to impose."