bus

I dont' know what to I do....
I just have these urges to go through with it...i dunno why...
My feelings just flood into me,and then I lose myself and I screw up..It's been 30 days tonight since I've SI'ed...And I don't want to do it again..But these urges.....

I didn't because I again thought of this person and the expression on her face...

because i refused to give in..21 days without a slip..Maybe I'll get to 1 year...Maybe.

Me and my brother had got into a fight...But instead of SI-ing,I thought of a friend (who doesn't know) mind you,and what she would say if she knew...She's really cool so I dunno..And she's leaving school soon so that piece of a reason will be lost soon...I know it's dumb,but when I talk to her I fe...

I spend so long tellling myself not to cry that when I want to, I can't. Sad music, films etc never work for me, they just make the urge to cry more painful. Yeah me too..I feel like that a lot... quote: Originally posted by seraphim I want to be able to cry but I can't...my God is not letting me.....

Writing it down has never done anything but made me more mad at myself for being who I am....
I can't talk to people openly,I think that's why i came here...

I want to be able to cry but I can't...Sometimes the tears well up but nothing comes of it...I know that if I cry I may feel better,but my God is not letting me..Why?I just don't know what to do anymore...I feel like no one really cares about me enough just to ask me what's wrong and when I say noth...